Intimacy In Chronic Illness

Intimacy In Chronic Illness

The Pain We Know vs. The Pain We Choose

pain you knowWe all know pain in one form or another. Some of use live with it on a daily basis. It’s not just pain; it’s how much pain. Pain is our only constant. Pain from chronic illnesses is pain an individual cannot control or constrain where the pain will materialize. So why would some individuals choose pain? Some do, in the form of tattoos, piercings, and in the world of BDSM (Bondage Dominance Sadism Masochism or Bondage Discipline Sadomasochism). For some individuals being able to choose pain helps them cope with the pain they cannot control. Some individuals find that choosing their pain can be rather freeing. It really has to do with all the chemicals the body releases.

            “The whole purpose of letting pain be pain is this: to let go of pain. By entering into it, we see that we are strong enough and capable enough to move through it.” Matthew Fox

My chosen pain is in submissiveness. With this article I am outing myself. I am a masochist. Not for sexual pleasure -- that is a plus. I choose pain to help me cope with my constant pain. Being flogged or spanked increases my pain initially, then the endorphins kick in. When one is in chronic pain the body gets used to the constant pain and no longer releases enough pain killing endorphins. Thus, by increasing my pain I am also increasing the endorphins. I am able to get over the endorphin block and my body releases a huge pain killing endorphin surge. Masochism isn’t for everyone.  It’s a release that I need because I don’t otherwise allow myself this release on a daily basis. I keep pushing and pushing until I can no longer tolerate the pain and I need assistance in releasing the pent up pain energy. For me the release involves a good exhausting cry.