Why Can't I Get My Meds Straight?

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Published on Wednesday, 17 October 2012 09:55

Written by Jules

I have been taking meds for some sort of chronic condition since I was 18 years old. One might think that by nearly 43 years old I would have this madness under control. Yet, time and time again, no matter what great new app is invented, or the evidence before my eyes as the pills in the bottles dwindle, I rather frequently find myself running out of something.

What is the deal with that?

I know there are pharmacies that will remind you that you have a refill coming due, and there is another problem. Why do I insist on using the same pharmacy, for years now, that provides such a low level of service that many drugs are not kept on hand and must be ordered, thus prolonging refills by 24 hours.

When I was just medicating my bipolar disorder I used to blame the, "oh you know bipolars are notorious for medication non compliance". But it's more than that. Now we are talking about medications that help with pain, medications with short half-lives that make me ill when I have to wait the 24-48 hours to get them.

I would like to blame laziness, or agoraphobia but I think truly there must still be a hint of denial left in me. This denial that I need these things. And every once and awhile, some part of me wants to test the need. Is there an inner dialoge going on with Jules, the one that accepts her chronic conditions and even works to help others accept theirs, and the Jules that wants to be cut free of this mess and tries to test that theory at times?

Or I am over thinking it. Perhaps I am forgetful. 

So, I am waiting to get my self in the shower and dressed and off to that insane jungle we call Costco to get my meds. What am I picking up? Well, the ones I am out of: gabapentin (4 days), topomax (3 days), pristiq (2 days). 

The only withdrawls I am having at the moment are nevrve pain and night sweats. If I let the pristiq go much longer it will get worse. If I let the topomax go any longer, what? A seizure. I think the same is true for the gabapentin. 

One of my enemies is the pill sorter. That cool seven day sorting box keeps me unaware of what have in the bottles. I know for most people they are amazing things, but for me, it just doesn't seem to be working out as well. It's a mental block I am sure.

So really, what I am saying here, I do foolish things sometimes. And this is one of those times.

Now that I have taken ownership of this issue, I do want to pass the buck a bit to my insurance company. I would very much like to get things organized in a way that would allow me to get more refills at once, on a better schedule. I have done that considerably. I used to find myself at the pharmacy sometimes 3-4 days a week picking up whatever I was running out of. Now, because my geography change has made going to Costco so undesirable, I have it mostly worked out that I go less often, I could really get this nailed if my insurance company would stop playing the "too soon" game with me.

If I try to refill a prescription just a single day earlier than they deem necessary, they kick it back and make me wait. I can see why it would trouble them that I may have my birth control pills too early, god knows I want to eat those suckers like pez. But seriously, for the meds that just don't have addiction issues involved with them, like my thyroid med, what is the big deal? I am not asking for six months of meds in advance, but can I get them 5 days early instead of 3?

I am going to fix this, and fast. It's so annoying. I am going to get things moved over to mail order that can be done that way. I think only 2 of my meds can't be sent via mail. For all of you that have been telling me to do this for a couple of years now. Yes, I know, you are right. I will do it.

In the mean time, life runs this way for me in other things. I have my groceries delievered now. I still run out of essentials and end up ordering out for dinners (that yes, I have delivered). I think this tells me that mail order makes total sense. I think the only thing I have to do is get my doctors to write new prescriptions for the mail order process. I can do that. 

What I mean is "I can make someone make me do that!"

So, a new plan for me, a new goal. I like goals that are shorter term easy to achieve kinds of things. I am going to get this thing nailed by using the things I know work for me. When I can get things delivered, shipped, mailed, whatever: no problem. And it's not like I am reinventing some wheel here, people do this all of the time, and often save money (and lord knows time) by doing it.

Ok, goal set. I will let you know how I do.

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